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Mal Harrison, director for the Center for Erotic Intelligence, blames this lack of communication around consent on what she calls low social intelligence.
In this case, "the desperation to have any sex regardless of the consequences, pain, or disrespect it causes another." She describes high social intelligence as knowing the greatest sex happens between people who are genuinely into it with great enthusiasm.
She notes that many people have had bad first experiences because they either didn't use lubricant, moved too fast, thought that anal play had to involve deep penetration (when, in fact, external stimulation and light, shallow penetration is ideal for accessing the nerve endings in the anus) or felt pressured to try it. We can't just brush this issue under the rug for fear of a right-winged, "We told ya anal was bad and a sin! In order for people to avoid anal when they don't want to have it, and to have good anal when they do, we have to provide clear-cut, pleasure-based sex education and consent in schools and at home.
Just because the liberal media is all about anal now shouldn't suggest that anal is an automatic given when you hook up or that young people have learned how to engage in butt stuff safely.