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"Sex will be so much better if you wait until your wedding night," they urged. But sex can be had in other ways, and many of us got creative. It could spread disease, and it would make you feel bad. Evangelical discourse on sex is more conservative than I've ever seen it. Yet that simple message didn't go very far in shaping our sexual decision-making.If we could hold out, they said, it would be worth it.More simply, however, I have found that few evangelicals accomplish what their pastors and parents wanted them to.Indeed, over 90 percent of American adults experience sexual intercourse before marrying.Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. Ever turned on the television or radio to catch a sermon, song, or message seemingly written specifically for you? If you’re a believer dating an unsaved person, your date has not only rejected the Lord but also the Lord living in you. Read and learn from those such as Samson of the Bible, and do now what you’ll otherwise wish you would have done later. Anyone ever crossed your path leaving a comment or two that spoke directly to your heart? Are family and/or friends at all iffy about your decision to move forward with the one you are presently dating? Are you dating someone who does not have a personal relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ? There are no guarantees in life, and this includes the salvation of your current date.
Such is the prevailing discourse of abstinence culture in contemporary American evangelicalism. Nor do all indulgers become miserable or marital train wrecks. Some of us failed, but we could become "born again virgins." Virginity mattered. Parents and pastors and youth group leaders told us not to do it before we got married. So they kicked it up a notch and staked a battle over virginity, with pledges of abstinence and accountability structures to maintain the power of the imperative to not do what many of us felt like doing.…you doubt the person you are dating is “the one” you are meant to marry and fear keeps you from breaking off the relationship. Draper wrote, “Doubt never means yes and always means no or wait a while: God does not lead through doubt. Don’t go so far as justifying staying in a relationship you’ll wish you had abandoned later.If you can’t get peace, that is an answer.” When God opens the door for marriage in your life, you will know that you know you are with the right person. Here’s why: in the dating world, thoughts like, “I can’t break up because…,” mean that doubt has given the keys to fear which will drive you down a rough road containing potholes of confusion and bumps of anxiety."I cannot thank you enough for your free Christian dating & Christian penpals and want to encourage others to hang in there, pray hard and believe that God is able to use any means possible to bring two people together.A wonderful godly woman and I have made plans to marry later this summer." "I love the free Christian dating and have been blessed many times over with the Christian chat, blogs, love sending Christian ecards, and have recently met a nice gentleman through here who loves the Lord!Then, ask God for discernment as you listen to others’ advice. If what they are saying is consistent with His Word and spoken in love, then imagine His mighty hand gently tapping your shoulder, prompting you to turn from your plans, and take a better path. When you have sex with anyone other than your spouse, things happen, bad things.It takes one time to lose your virginity, one time to contract an STD, one time to become addicted to sexual immorality, one time for your fiancé’s respect for you to dissipate forever… The Bible states that while sin is pleasurable for a season, the after effects are horrible. Repent and stay pure until you’ve said your wedding vows. If you choose to ignore the unrest in your spirit and continue on with this person you just don’t think you can live without, I’ll tell you what comes next -- excuses!