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I’d expect this kind of mentality from a Twitter troll, but not from a seemingly cultured adult man. Yet here I was, feeling like a had just stepped on a bomb in Minecraft.After this date, I started to pick up on the blatant sexist and misogynistic things guys from my dating apps would say without batting an eye.It was like shitty treatment of women was normal to them.
It’s up to our society to teach our young men better.It’s even the guy from Bumble who tells you over a bowl of mac and cheese that successful women threaten him.And the problem won’t stop until everyone else realizes it, too—and we actually do something about it.Men freely and casually expressing such contempt for women in situations where they’re supposed to impress them speaks largely to the problem at hand, and is quite frankly terrifying.What’s even more terrifying is how unapologetic most of them are about it. I had heard horror stories about dating apps, but I’d also witnessed long lasting relationships grow from them.Her positivity and excitement convinced me to press “Install,” and I waited for the app to download onto my screen.We spoke about our hometowns, our “favorites,” and our family. “Is that because dating such a woman is too much for your fragile male ego? “It’s my preference,” he said coolly, like we were debating whether he preferred women who are athletic to women who are into the arts, not a dating choice that screamed I like my women subordinate.Then the topic of work came up, and I told him I was a writer. I took a long sip from my drink, smiling into the glass rim, holding back the verbal whiplash I wanted to impose on him. To many, Chad’s “preference” seems like just that—a preference. He essentially told me to my face that he needed power over his future wife, a slippery-slope of a mindset that feeds into and is a prelude for those who commit sexual assault and harassment.It’s the cute guy from your floor who walked you home while drunk, but forced his fingers down your skirt.It’s the Vice President seeing women other than his wife as imminent threats he must avoid at all costs.