Redneck rules for dating
Furthermore, no matter how people want to spin it, rejection for being of a certain race stings so much more than being overlooked because of your hair or eye color, or even your gender.When I carefully considered Nolan's words, though, I had to give him a little credit.And does rigid adherence in your head to a supposed "preference" (which, as expressed, often sounds more like a rule: "I don't date ") become almost self-fulfilling in practice, to the point of exclusion?Can an employer who will only hire white employees because he or she prefers to work with them, or a landlord who will only rent to white tenants because he or she prefers to live with them, use "preference" as a loophole to sidestep charges of racism? Why, then, do people think the rules of racism don't apply to them when they're eliminating entire continents from their romantic prospects based entirely on ethnicity and race?For some reason, he wanted to know if I was attracted to Asian men (my answer: when I found them attractive), and although some things would have been better left unsaid, he felt the need to tell me that he is not.My first instinct was to ask why he would live in a country where he wasn't attracted to the people, but I'd already met his longtime partner, so I figured that hooking up with the locals wasn't a priority.He wasn't entirely unsuccessful in his attempt to defend himself.He did make me think that perhaps I should cut him and all the others who had made similar comments over the previous few months some slack.
Like so many men with the no-Asians dating and hooking-up policies, Nolan hid behind the old "That's just my preference" excuse.
Shoving them into one box of physical attributes and labeling it "Do not touch" is tantamount to saying that all black people look alike.
Sure, we have no control over what we're attracted to, but we can control whether we see people as individuals or merely as belonging to groups that are determined by ethnicity and race.
My second instinct was to ask him what exactly he found attractive, then. If I had lined up every man in the room and arranged them from the ones I found most attractive down to the least, starting at the bar, his boyfriend might have ended up somewhere near the bathroom.
It wasn't the nicest thought that ran through my head that evening, but that was just my taste.